Going wandering.
Anxiety.
7/14/2010
Anxiety makes my entire body numb. Creating knots in my stomach that make it impossible to eat. Sitting and watching tv only makes it worse and sleeping is unbearable. It seems as though nothing can cure the sickening fear.
Amidst my overwhelming anxiety last night I found myself grabbing my sneakers and running into the darkness. I ran fast and far and absolutely nothing was stopping me. I thought just for a second that if I ran just a little bit faster and pushed my legs that much harder maybe just maybe God would fix it all. But in the end those miles I ran did not give me enough endorphins to forget what reality had in store for me.
Reality has a way of sneaking up on us when we least expect it. At some point we realize that we are tired, scared and not ready to face the truth. But sooner or later it is time to put the fear aside and look reality in the eye. There is no turning back. Anxiety it is one of those pains that has no easy answers. You try to breath through it in hopes that once you do it will subside. But really pain you must fight through because there is no way around it.
Amidst my overwhelming anxiety last night I found myself grabbing my sneakers and running into the darkness. I ran fast and far and absolutely nothing was stopping me. I thought just for a second that if I ran just a little bit faster and pushed my legs that much harder maybe just maybe God would fix it all. But in the end those miles I ran did not give me enough endorphins to forget what reality had in store for me.
Reality has a way of sneaking up on us when we least expect it. At some point we realize that we are tired, scared and not ready to face the truth. But sooner or later it is time to put the fear aside and look reality in the eye. There is no turning back. Anxiety it is one of those pains that has no easy answers. You try to breath through it in hopes that once you do it will subside. But really pain you must fight through because there is no way around it.
Rainy Days.
Something about rainy days makes me cold. My body feels like an icicle and I shiver longing for a warm blanket and a cup of soup. I desperately wish I was home away from the noise of phones, computer keys and busy brokers. My mind wanders to friendly memories of things I love hoping for a bit of warmth. We don’t spend enough time enjoying the little moments like the smell of an old book from the library or a fresh batch of cookies coming out of the oven.
But especially today my concentration slips away as my anxiety gains full speed. Today my mind brings me back to a moment or maybe its just a daydream. The house is filled with an aroma of fresh homemade bread made by my dad. I make my way towards the stairs to find my mom in the living room knitting with a slight smile across her face. Dickens my cat is lounging on her lap. The stairs creek as I skip upstairs to find my sister curled up in her bed reading a book. I crawl into bed pull the old library book to my face and take in the scent.
How do you pull your mind back to the numbers and necessary daily activities when wishing and waiting? Its my imagination that runs wild. Dreams can drive you to the biggest places but can slow the time. Time, which allows those lethargic days to occur every once in awhile.
But especially today my concentration slips away as my anxiety gains full speed. Today my mind brings me back to a moment or maybe its just a daydream. The house is filled with an aroma of fresh homemade bread made by my dad. I make my way towards the stairs to find my mom in the living room knitting with a slight smile across her face. Dickens my cat is lounging on her lap. The stairs creek as I skip upstairs to find my sister curled up in her bed reading a book. I crawl into bed pull the old library book to my face and take in the scent.
How do you pull your mind back to the numbers and necessary daily activities when wishing and waiting? Its my imagination that runs wild. Dreams can drive you to the biggest places but can slow the time. Time, which allows those lethargic days to occur every once in awhile.
Power of Happiness.
It’s the battles I have faced and mountains I have climbed that have brought me face to face with happiness. I used to cry when I thought about the friends I am no longer friends with and the loves I have lost. But recently I find myself smiling. It is those people who I thank for hurting me and throwing me down a hill and broke my heart into tiny little pieces. Those are the people who have shown me the most. I have learned from their mistakes, cleared my visions and most of all become so much stronger. So I say thank them and pray for all those people who have done me wrong. They are the ones who stirred my confidence and left me with hope.
It's overwhelming really the power of happiness. Little moments surround you and place you in the presence of astonishing people. There is so much purpose in this world to be extraordinary everywhere we go. It’s hard to decide what really is EXTRAORDINARY. But like a beautiful song or elegant dance you know when you experience something that truly is spectacular. It fills you up with warmth. It takes your breath away just for a second. And that is when you know that you have been in the presence of something extraordinary. That is what gives you hope and determination to fight for what is right and to do even better.
The journey continues to each day smile a little bit bigger and fight through those sticky situations a little bit harder. In the end the finish line is worth all of it. Everything happens for a reason because God has a plan. The roads we must travel may be torturous but each day is worth living just for a smile.
It's overwhelming really the power of happiness. Little moments surround you and place you in the presence of astonishing people. There is so much purpose in this world to be extraordinary everywhere we go. It’s hard to decide what really is EXTRAORDINARY. But like a beautiful song or elegant dance you know when you experience something that truly is spectacular. It fills you up with warmth. It takes your breath away just for a second. And that is when you know that you have been in the presence of something extraordinary. That is what gives you hope and determination to fight for what is right and to do even better.
The journey continues to each day smile a little bit bigger and fight through those sticky situations a little bit harder. In the end the finish line is worth all of it. Everything happens for a reason because God has a plan. The roads we must travel may be torturous but each day is worth living just for a smile.
Endorphins.
7/10/2010
You know that feeling when you can’t stop smiling and nothing absolutely nothing will bring you down. Working out is that one thing in my life that no matter what is going on I always find myself beaming with joy. It’s a natural high that brings total awareness to my mind, body and spirit. I feel more alive and connected with my body when I’m working out. Vigorous exercise gives me energy that reminds me of when I was a child and would consume too much sugar and would be running in circles. I crave the endorphins from working out just like I used to crave sugar.
Although I find myself enveloped in the world of intense, upbeat exercise I calm my soul with mediation and yoga. It’s a challenge for my entire body to find my complete utter center. It is my time in which I learn to love myself with a clear, clean and blank state of mind. In this moment I feel as though everything in the universe is working perfectly. Time is funny like that. It grants us moments of pure serenity. Meditation brings physical awareness to the senses, which creates a strong source of energy for yoga. From stretching to inversions my body is challenged both physically and mentally. Overcoming physical and mental obstacles occurs only when I am fully present with my inner compass. The joy that is gained from each of these activities is overwhelming. But in the end it's the little sparkle within my soul that proves to be true happiness.
Although I find myself enveloped in the world of intense, upbeat exercise I calm my soul with mediation and yoga. It’s a challenge for my entire body to find my complete utter center. It is my time in which I learn to love myself with a clear, clean and blank state of mind. In this moment I feel as though everything in the universe is working perfectly. Time is funny like that. It grants us moments of pure serenity. Meditation brings physical awareness to the senses, which creates a strong source of energy for yoga. From stretching to inversions my body is challenged both physically and mentally. Overcoming physical and mental obstacles occurs only when I am fully present with my inner compass. The joy that is gained from each of these activities is overwhelming. But in the end it's the little sparkle within my soul that proves to be true happiness.
Raw Journey.
7/8/2010
Recently I began a journey through raw foods. In other words I took a step towards a new lifestyle eating 80 to 90 percent raw foods. Some people may think this is crazy and against western medicine and well it is. But for my body and in order to heal fully from frequent sickness I have taken a dive into this adventure. Along for the ride is my mom, but its been a challenge explaining the benefits to my dad and sister.
My inspiration: Kimberly Snyder a certified nutritionist. I follow her blog each and every day and have realized how TOXIC our bodies have become from medicine, cooked foods, and pollutants throughout daily activities. This is not always the best way for everyone but with my allergies and intolerances to foods I have found the best health regime to fit ME.
I am amazed by the differences this regime has made in my life. Only to name a few my skin has cleared up, I stopped using my inhaler (phew) and the best thing of all is I am HAPPY. I don’t stop smiling! If you feed your body what it loves then it will love you back!
Although I have seen such a drastic change in my life I can surely say it has not been easy. The first few weeks I found myself craving sugar all the time. But with my self-control instead of grabbing that cupcake I grabbed a piece of fruit. I have faced the hardest obstacles in this new lifestyle and I am proud to say this is the new and improved RAW me!
My inspiration: Kimberly Snyder a certified nutritionist. I follow her blog each and every day and have realized how TOXIC our bodies have become from medicine, cooked foods, and pollutants throughout daily activities. This is not always the best way for everyone but with my allergies and intolerances to foods I have found the best health regime to fit ME.
I am amazed by the differences this regime has made in my life. Only to name a few my skin has cleared up, I stopped using my inhaler (phew) and the best thing of all is I am HAPPY. I don’t stop smiling! If you feed your body what it loves then it will love you back!
Although I have seen such a drastic change in my life I can surely say it has not been easy. The first few weeks I found myself craving sugar all the time. But with my self-control instead of grabbing that cupcake I grabbed a piece of fruit. I have faced the hardest obstacles in this new lifestyle and I am proud to say this is the new and improved RAW me!
Cleveland Duble & Arnold.
7/7/2010
Currently I work for a real estate agency in Greenwich. Cleveland Duble & Arnold. An experience that leaves me speechless. The current market brings tension and stress throughout the office. For the sake of each broker and agent in the office I am attempting to keep all information secrets. I am a sponge. I hear everything but speak only when needed. Every office and work place has characters but let me tell you this office has the biggest variety of them. Each offering entertainment and professionalism. I learn something new every day even if it is something I am not supposed to hear but catch on the way to the copier. I am privileged to work for this office and will be forever grateful to Heather who has taken me in and let me learn and explore the world of real estate.
Statistics amaze me and the calculations bring me into full focus. I hear nothing but numbers going through my brain. Every once and awhile I forget that the phone is ringing and I pick up flustered and confused. Numbers fascinate me. Especially when I can compare them and figure out ways to improve performance and sales in the case of real estate.
Although many of the realtors in the office are determined that the market is NOT turning around. I am hear to say that through hours of calculating the real estate market in fact IS improving. I have completed a number of calculations to find out that since last year the number of houses sold has grown. I will leave the real numbers for our newsletter soon to be published.
Agents have become restless and hungry for money. Its not that they want more listings but to sell, sell, SELL. Cut throat is the way to describe this business. A very important concept I have learned is that in this business realtors must continually reinvent themselves, respond to change with new innovative business ideas. Real estate is addictive each house tells a different story and fits different people. It’s a risky business and each day you must step outside the lines and take risks because when you do that’s when the biggest rewards occur. So on to another day answering phones, punching out numbers and being a “sponge.”
Statistics amaze me and the calculations bring me into full focus. I hear nothing but numbers going through my brain. Every once and awhile I forget that the phone is ringing and I pick up flustered and confused. Numbers fascinate me. Especially when I can compare them and figure out ways to improve performance and sales in the case of real estate.
Although many of the realtors in the office are determined that the market is NOT turning around. I am hear to say that through hours of calculating the real estate market in fact IS improving. I have completed a number of calculations to find out that since last year the number of houses sold has grown. I will leave the real numbers for our newsletter soon to be published.
Agents have become restless and hungry for money. Its not that they want more listings but to sell, sell, SELL. Cut throat is the way to describe this business. A very important concept I have learned is that in this business realtors must continually reinvent themselves, respond to change with new innovative business ideas. Real estate is addictive each house tells a different story and fits different people. It’s a risky business and each day you must step outside the lines and take risks because when you do that’s when the biggest rewards occur. So on to another day answering phones, punching out numbers and being a “sponge.”
A new beginning.
7/7/2010
Time to go exploring! And she’s off to explore the world. A newly found sense of self and I’m ready. You wonder ready for what? To face the world head on and reach every dream I have. So now the preppy sophomore at High Point University is ready to take the plunge. I am leaving my past behind me and taking on the next chapter in my life. I have learned important lessons, lost best friends, lost a love and most of all discovered the endless possibilities ahead. I give all credit to my family.
My father a strong, confident business man who will, “never give up bread, cheese and wine.” We have always spent endless hours doing some sort of physical activity from swim meets to now hours on the golf course perfecting our game. Always his little butterfly.
My mother Debby caring, strong woman born to nurture for those in need as she is a nurse. Of course we have not always gotten a long and as much as she would hate to admit it but it is because we are so alike. She is the one person I tell everything too. She has guided me through the highs of love and lows of falling out of love. From losing best friends to the countless surgeries I have undergone. She truly is my best friend and will forever be mama no matter how far her little butterfly flys away.
My sister Amanda Panda. Strongest young woman ever. She has faced more hardships at such a young age and has gotten through each one with poise and grace. I guess you could call us silent best friends. She is my role model and I look up to her probably more than she knows.
My father a strong, confident business man who will, “never give up bread, cheese and wine.” We have always spent endless hours doing some sort of physical activity from swim meets to now hours on the golf course perfecting our game. Always his little butterfly.
My mother Debby caring, strong woman born to nurture for those in need as she is a nurse. Of course we have not always gotten a long and as much as she would hate to admit it but it is because we are so alike. She is the one person I tell everything too. She has guided me through the highs of love and lows of falling out of love. From losing best friends to the countless surgeries I have undergone. She truly is my best friend and will forever be mama no matter how far her little butterfly flys away.
My sister Amanda Panda. Strongest young woman ever. She has faced more hardships at such a young age and has gotten through each one with poise and grace. I guess you could call us silent best friends. She is my role model and I look up to her probably more than she knows.
Ali Romaniello
I do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13
I do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13
